Things Your Boyfriend Fails At Because The Mail Species Sucks

1. He looks at other girls

2. He wrote in your lilly planner to be funny, and he ruined everything

3. He doesn’t know how to cook for you

4. He doesn’t watch chick flicks, so he doesn’t know how high your standards are for him

5. He has no clue how to be spontaneous and cute

6. He doesn’t care about getting the perfect instagram photo

7. He is sick of throwing up your letters and doesn’t smile when you try to take a picture of it

8. If he doesn’t want to do something, he won’t suck it up and go anyways, he will legit tell you he doesn’t want to go...who does that?

9. He can’t text you back in class, but he can like pictures of hoes on instagram

10. He isn’t Zac Efron

11. He doesn’t know what your favorite chocolates are even though there are so many occasions throughout the year he should be getting you chocolates for

12. He asks for nudes even though he can see you naked almost anytime he wants in person

13. He complains when you don’t send them to him

14. He doesn’t understand that you want him to come over to give you hug when you aren’t feeling well, and you don’t want to fuck.

15. He didn’t bring you soup or anything when he came over even though he knows you would like it

16. Then he complained that he didn’t get any action

17. He doesn’t understand that your bestfriend trumps him every time

18. But when you try to tell him something bitchy and girly, he tried to be rational about that girl you hate and then told you to talk to your best friend

19. And then he complained that you talk to your best friend more than him

20. He doesn’t like the singer you like, so he refused to go to the concert coming up

21. Even though you begged and bribed him

22. LIKE NOW YOU CAN TURN DOWN SEX?

23. You want him to drive, but he won’t listen to beyonce because its “his car, his music”...that ashole

24. He doesn’t bring you food nearly as often as he should

25. He brought up that hoe of an ex girlfriend and FUCKING COMPARED YOU TO THAT BITCH

26. His ex might even still be on this earth somewhere...alive. I can’t think of a worse thought than that.

27. He said something stupid or dirty to/ in front of your parents

28. Your parents hate him (the disapproval is hot, but like you really want them to approve still in case you get married)

29. He doesn’t play with your siblings and have a cute friendship with them (I mean, you hate them, but he needs to get along with them)

30. He watches you do chores and doesn’t offer to help

31. He can’t tell when you’re mad even though you made it clear when you said “I’m fine” in the most passive aggressive tone possible

32. He wasn’t listening when you vented about your day

33. He was looking at your boobs instead

34. I guess guys can’t look and listen at the same time

35. He can say things that are really girly, but he bitches more when you call him out for being a sap

36. He ignores you for his boys, and you assume he’s with a bunch of hot girls

37. He expects you to text him every second you are with your friends, even though he didnt even look at his phone when he was with his

38. He doesn’t help you play matchmaker and set-up your friends together

39. He doesn’t watch the same shows on netflix as you do

40. He doesn’t wear the vineyard vines you paid way too much money to get him, so you never look like the couples in the catalogue

41. He spent 90% of formal complaining about being dressed up and taking pictures and the other 10% eating or going to the bathroom

42. He didn’t find a cute way to ask you to his fraternity’s formal because he thought it was “assumed you were going together” even though you still spent countless hours painting him another cooler (even though this is like the 4th one this semester)

43. He gets pissy when he’s drunk and it’s impossible to deal with him

44. He still hasn’t lavaliered you

45. He doesn’t bring you on dates anymore

46. He isn’t as protective as he should be when his frat bros hit on you

47. Sometimes he is too protective though...it’s just never at the right time

48. His major isn’t going to get him a job that will make good money

49. He can’t sing so he can never serenade you

50. He doesn’t really know how to talk about his day in more detail than “yeah it was ok i guess”

Even though he does all this stupid shit, you need to thank your boy for putting up with your craziness. Let’s be real, you are no ray of sunshine to deal with all of the time.