Thanks to Guys for Funding Nights Out
You are an underclassman in college who has no means of buying alcohol, but you are somehow never empty handed when you are out. You may have a totally believable fake and a lot of extra money lying around (hahahaha), or you fully take advantage of the fact that as a girl, your boobs and your butt accented properly with a crop top and cut off jean shorts gets you drinks. Guys, especially when drunk, know that getting alcohol in you increases their odds of getting laid. It sometimes works, but either way, theres free drinks in it for you. We often forget that while cover to our favorite bar and the five lemon drop shots we took the other night aren't free because these noble men take the sacrifice to their suffering bank accounts for our sake. Thanks to these guys, we can afford another burrito from chipotle or starbucks to help us face the philanthropy event we have the next morning while we are hungover. Lets thank the fellas for keeping us drunk, happy, and not quite as poor as the average college student. From all of us college girls who have enjoyed this luxury, we appreciate your valiant effort to get in our pants, even if our best friend stops us from making that mistake. Below are two ideas to show your appreciation to these guys, because they deserve it:
Sexual favor- it sounds slutty, mostly because it is. However, this is the most desired outcome for the guy who made sure your red solo cup was never empty. Of course its not cool for him to force himself on you, no means no bro. This is only applicable if you thought he was hot before you started drinking and your best friend approves it. Although you may not believe her she knows what is best for drunk you. Never do anything you don’t want, but if you are going to have a one night stand regardless, you might as well reward the guy who helped you get drunk.
Pay for the 2 am trip to McDonalds- this will cost a whole lot less than the cover to the bar and the handle of fireball he got you to pre game with, so its a nice way to show him you know he made a generous contribution and you want to thank him.
Whether its a random guy you met at the bar, or a good friend who is always there with alcohol in times of need, always say “thank you” to the guys that show freshman and sophomore girls how fun college can be when you have a little bit of alcohol. And dudes, although we appreciate it, we might not always want to get with you.
